What do you want for Christmas?
If you are experiencing divorce or a relationship breakdown an important choice for you to make at any time, but especially at Christmas is whether you want conflict or constructive solutions. Almost everyone answers this question that they want constructive solutions. However, many of you find yourself in family breakdown conflict and may have found yourself on the receiving end of correspondence from your spouse’s solicitor which has caused you considerable distress. This can often be the tone of the letter and criticism of you within it. The allegations against you may be untrue, exaggerated or out of the context of the situation in which they occurred.
Why are such letters written? Probably your spouse has told all this to his/her solicitor and wants it set out in a letter. Solicitors are instructed by their Clients and all communication reflects these instructions.
However, you should be asking the question “does it have to be this way?” It doesn’t. Anyone involved in a relationship breakdown can choose to act constructively rather than to fan the flames of conflict.
What can help significantly is choosing a solicitor who is a member of an organisation called Resolution. Resolution is an organisation of solicitors practicing family law. Members subscribe to a code of practice that promotes a constructive approach to family issues and considers the needs of the whole family, and particularly the best interests of children.
To quote Resolution’s own words, this means
• Listening to, being honest with you, and treating you with respect.
• Explaining all the options and giving you the confidence to make the right decisions.
• Helping you focus on what is important in the long term.
• Helping you balance financial and emotional costs with what you want to achieve.
• Working with others to find the right approach and the best solutions for you.
• Managing stress in what can be an already stressful situation.
Relationship breakdown is a very difficult situation. It is very important that the solicitor you choose helps you to find a constructive way through.